I have returned to you Tumblr, just in time for the PARTAY OF MY LIFE!
BAND BANQUET
(That’s right. Be amazed by my coolness. You too can be this cool!)
acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman:
You either love The Princess Bride or you’re wrong.
THOSE ARE THE OPTIONS YOU HAVE
I’ve never seen it. -sobbing-
I’ve seen this movie so many times I almost have it memorized from start to finish. I lost count after the hundred and fiftieth viewing.
ART History: I THREW IT ON THE GROUND! (Cause I was so good)
Calculus: I THREW IT ON THE GROUND (Cause I didn’t want to do it.)
And I still have 5 more…AWKWARD!
So I was taking the art history test
And the essays start to get more obscure
MAN.
I’M NOT LETTING YOU POISON ME.
I THREW IT ON THE GROUND.
And then I took the calculus examand it said “Here’s a calculator boost up your grade”
and I was like
MAN
DO I LOOK LIKE A CHARITY CASE
I THREW IT ON THE GROUND.
And then the so called comprehension test
Hands me a poetry essay
and I was like man
this ain’t poetry
This is free verse
I THREW IT ON THE GROUND.
So some statistics question asks me to unskew a graphWhacha want me to do with this? Log it?
UNSKEW IT TO THE GROUND.
I MADE A BELL CURVE OF IT TOO.
So some physics question asks me to find the current in a circuitTO THE GROUND
^^This is where you start getting tased in the butthole.
(if any of these actually correspond to the english, statistics, or physics free response questions then this will be very awkward to explain.)
Dear trumpet,
This is an orchestra. There are dynamics other than loud.No there aren’t. You’ve been misinformed.
No, you just merely lack the education and maturity for a real musical ensemble.
ART History: I THREW IT ON THE GROUND! (Cause I was so good)
Calculus: I THREW IT ON THE GROUND (Cause I didn’t want to do it.)
And I still have 5 more…AWKWARD!
“You knew I was falling in love with you”
Ok so it’s adultery if she goes through with it…but…I kind of want it too.
In a perfect world she gets a divorce and marries Roddy because they are PERFECT for each other, but it’s show, so am I still a bad person for shipping Rose and Roddy?
| Richard I: | *basically lays down the foundations for like a thousand years of tension and war between the West and the Middle East, pretty much creating modern-style institutionalized racism and Islamophopia in the process, and spends most of his reign doing this instead of actually running his damn country, which entails leaving it to his underequipped-for-the-role jerk of a brother for a huge amount of time to boot* |
| History: | ALL HAIL GOOD KING RICHARD THE LION-HEARTED |
| Richard II: | *is a frivolous little shit who ego-trips about as hard as the Kon-El-style hybrid genetic-experiment offspring of Kanye West and Oscar Wilde but with none of the talent or charisma to back it up until it's generally agreed that somebody has to get his ass off the throne pronto* |
| History: | He was a pretty shitty king, but he seems to have acquired a kind of penitent sanctity toward the end of his life, so he can slide. |
| Richard III: | *goes around being nice to pretty much everybody to the point of his own eventual detriment after several years as his eldest brother's most trusted lieutenant, and while there's some controversy over whether or not two kids died on his watch and/or orders the evidence doesn't really stack toward that* |
| History: | oh god |
| History: | what an asshole |
| History: | how did anyone this EVIL ever get the throne |
| History: | I just |
| History: | oh god |
| History: | We can NEVER HAVE A KING NAMED RICHARD AGAIN |
| History: | NOT AFTER THIS ONE |
| Shakespeare: | Hey, check out this play I wrote! |
| History: | BLESS YOU SHAKESPEARE |
i’m always weirdly proud when my pee is clear because it’s like fuck yeah i’m so hydrated
sherlock-whovian-in-the-impala:
So I’m in college to be a history teacher, and today I realized that I have been blessed with the opportunity to open my class every year with “People assume time is a strict progression of cause to effect, when actually it’s more like a big ball of wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey… stuff.”
You’ll be the best teacher
I’m so happy, i cold die
